Loneliness and Depression are Friends

"Loneliness and depression are friends, and each day I feel that I don't have any, loneliness and depression remind me of their presence. Making friends is a slow and tedious process. It can be uncomfortable, unnerving. And each time I have to start over and make new ones, it feels harder. This time, I didn't have the energy. Depression clouded over my life and I didn't have the energy to go out and make friends. And the more lonely I felt, the less I wanted to be around people. So I became more lonely and more depressed and more lonely and more depressed until one day, I woke up too tired to be depressed anymore. I realized that along the way, I met people without noticing. My lab partner in programming. The girl I asked to study with me for neuroscience. And I started to not feel so lonely anymore. I was no longer focused on the goal of making friends. That would happen eventually. The goal became to love myself enough that people would want to be my friend. This quest began with prioritizing my mental health. This required patience—patience with myself, patience with my situation, and patience with the people around me. I had to understand that things wouldn’t get better overnight. Once I allowed myself to accept my current situation and not dwell on the things I can’t immediately change, I felt more in control over my life and my choices."

Hearts of AM ~ #11