Attacked by a frightening world

"Growing up there were so many things that took over my mind that I thought were completely average or 'normal.' I really thought everyone worried like I did. That everyone had things they thought up that gave them enough guilt to act certain ways. That everyone secretly worried that if they didn't do what was completely right of them that bad things would happen. I had so many worries about so many things, and these worries would get twisted into hundreds of different horrifying consequences until they transformed into the most horrifying monsters I became utterly scared of. Things like getting not picking up trash on the ground, cancer, throwing up, liking girls, the list goes on and on. And when I say utterly scared I mean feeling like that thing, however ridiculously small and innocent sounding, was going to lead to my or my closest friends'/family's demise on this Earth. And it would be all my fault. I learned later I suffered from anxiety, OCD, and depression after finally breaking my freshman year at UCSD. I thought I was being attacked by this frightening world for so long and deserved every bit of it...then I learned how to live my life with much more love, acceptance, and understanding. I honestly thought I was going to die my freshman year, but like a wise man once said, 'Only in the darkness can you see the stars.' [MLK Jr.]"

Hearts of AM ~ #12