Fiction

"I hate finishing a good book series or show. I don’t hate it, exactly. But I feel empty after it. I think it’s because I get so involved in their story. For the moments in time that I’m reading or watching, it’s almost like I’m a part of it, their story, like our lives are synonymous. I know it’s fiction, but what’s happening with them, it is always so significant, so important, and pivotal. I yearn for that kind of depth. The kind that changes a life, that fulfills a story line. I live my life on the surface. Sure, in my mind, I imagine the events in my life as an epic story. But nothing that impactful actually happens to me. It seems untrue, I know, I mean I actually do a lot of interesting things, things that most may never get the chance to experience. But they are happenings. They just occur. I want more than mere happenings, I want content. Rich, meaningful content. I’m tired of the mundane, I crave adventure. But not in the “get a quote tattooed on me about how much I crave adventure and go on a hike” type of way. I want my life changed. I want to be taken aback. I want to feel breathless from its impact. I catch a glimpse of this kind of feeling in my dreams. My ones at night, sure, but mostly when I’m conscious. I imagine, I play it out in my mind. Every song I listen to, I imagine it as the soundtrack to a scene in my life. I want reality to match the melody. I want so much more than this life.

But I guess it’s all just fiction."

Hearts of AM ~ #20

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